Excuses for calling out of work

Believable excuses for missing work

• I woke up with a migraine and can't look at a screen today.
• I've had a stomach bug since last night. I'll keep you posted, but I won't be in.
• My child is sick and I need to stay home with them.
• I have a plumbing emergency: water is coming through the ceiling and the plumber can only come today.
• My car won't start and I'm waiting for roadside assistance.
• I have a fever and don't want to give it to the whole team.
• I need to take a personal day for a family matter. I'll be back tomorrow.
• I had a bad reaction to a vaccine and the doctor told me to rest.

Funny excuses (for friends, not your boss)

• My dog ate my car keys and we are now waiting for nature to take its course.
• I'm locked in my own bathroom and the locksmith is "about an hour away".
• My neighbour's tree fell on my driveway and I'm trapped behind it.
• I accidentally glued my hand to my phone while fixing it. I'm typing this with my nose.
• I'm stuck in a lift and the only person here has a podcast about crypto.
• A goose has taken over my front garden and won't let me out.
• I sleepwalked into a cupboard and the door locked behind me.
• My cat sat on my laptop and changed every password I have.
• I was chosen by a flock of pigeons as their new leader and the handover takes all day.
• I accidentally time-travelled to Tuesday and need to wait for it to come back round.
• My reflection has called in sick, and we always go in together.
• I've been abducted by aliens. They say hi and they'll have me back by Monday.
• My horoscope said "avoid the office" and I don't argue with the stars.
• I'm having an existential crisis and can't find my socks or my purpose.
• I've been mistaken for a famous person and the paparazzi are camped outside.
• My smart fridge locked the front door and is demanding I eat more vegetables.

How to call in without sounding guilty

Keep it short, say when you expect to be back, mention anything urgent that needs covering, and don't over-explain. Over-explaining is what makes an excuse sound like an excuse.

Calling out of work: questions

What is the most believable excuse to miss work?

A stomach bug. It comes on suddenly, nobody wants you in the office with it, and it is usually over in a day.

Do I have to give a reason to call in sick?

It depends on your country and contract. In many places you only need to say you are ill, and need a doctor's note only after several days. Check your contract or HR policy.

Is it better to call or text?

Follow your workplace's rules. If there are none, a call or message before your shift starts is the polite minimum.